It is absolutely HUMAN to not love who you are and some days I still struggle with it.
Going into this post, I thought I was going to write about how "feeling comfortable in my own skin" was something that one could achieve through self confidence, a lifetime of living, blah blah blah blah and more bullshit. However, what I've come to discover, is that PEOPLE bring out the best in me. They force me to realize that I am me and I will always be me. That's not to be confused with just people in general; I'm speaking of the people that I surround myself with (no matter where in the world they may be) that I can truly be unfiltered around and how much of a, for lack of a better word, blessing, that is.. To come unglued, to speak without thinking, to share silence with. I'm completely aware that these aforementioned actions are not what every person constitutes as feeling completely content with oneself, however, this is the case for me. This is what I've discovered and I'm currently basking in the feeling of it, because I've spent too much of my life trying to get in touch with how people accept themselves for who they are, without really realizing that I've been myself all along.
I have a few people in my life that bring out the best in me. I mean that. They bring out the traits that I know are my most favorable (and no, there is nothing wrong with knowing what your best traits are). They are favorable because I favor them--easy concept, right?
The people I surround myself with in my life make me shine. They bring out my laugh at its heartiest. They make me selfless, as in, I would do anything and everything to make them happy and more importantly: they have inadvertently taught me to love myself for who I am, not who others feel I should be without even really trying.
There isn't this big philosophical epiphany at the end of this post. In fact, I'm not even sure if I am getting a point across here OR if anyone actually reads this. This post may just serve as a reminder when I need it... BUT, this is what I do know:
- I'm 27 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm 15, sometimes I feel like I'm 80 and I believe that age is just a number.
- I listen more than I talk
- I appreciate the small things, because they add up to big things in the end
- I like my laugh
- If you're truly important to me, I will do anything for you without thinking twice. Whether that be just listening or going out of my way to give you a gift for no reason at all.
- I have anxiety and there is nothing wrong with that.
- I have the wherewithall to know when it's not in control
- I respect myself
- I am a gamer.
- I over think everything.
- I'm also the biggest Lord of the Rings fan that you'll meet and it's not for reasons you would think. The message that the series encompasses is extremely important and close to my heart. I will defend it to my dying day.
- I had a shattered childhood that not many know about but chose to learn from it and grow, rather than dwell
- Pride is my biggest downfall
- I've learned to love the 3 freckles that frame my mouth
- I'm creative
- I am a feminist
- I will call you out on your bullshit
- I have trust issues
- I'm not good at Math
- My cat is one of the most important figures in my life and I'm not ashamed of that.
- It's okay that I started my life over and now have a job that doesn't make nearly as much money. I'm happy and haven't regretted it once.
- I like that I take risks. I like that I take chances. I don't like that it takes me forever to realize that I do these things all the time and don't give myself enough credit.
- I've learned to like the fact that I'm so clumsy that I can't feel half of my toes anymore.
While these traits, facts, whatever you want to call them's are something that I am, they do not shape the entirety of me. That would be impossible to list. I suppose the point of the list was to show that it's possible to like and love certain things about yourself and to GROW to love other things about yourself. Something that is equally as important to me, is finding people in your life that encourage you to be all of these things. That they make you understand just how important you are for being you.
While I'm sure it does take a great deal of self reflection to fully comprehend who you are and many people spend their whole lives trying to discover and uncover it for this big, beautiful answer--I just simply think that the astounding and incredible thing is that there is an innumerable amount of things that make a person, human.
It may seem weird to make a post like this. One that capitalizes on my reflection and self love, but I don't feel that there is enough of that in the world. The point I'm trying to make is that it is completely possible to like the person you are. I'm not saying "Do all of the following to live a happier, care free life--full of self discovery and loving the person you are". I'm actually just sharing my experience because, well, why not? It is my blog after all.
It may seem weird to make a post like this. One that capitalizes on my reflection and self love, but I don't feel that there is enough of that in the world. The point I'm trying to make is that it is completely possible to like the person you are. I'm not saying "Do all of the following to live a happier, care free life--full of self discovery and loving the person you are". I'm actually just sharing my experience because, well, why not? It is my blog after all.
In the end, all that there is to say is that I love that I don't have to care and can be myself, because I love the person that I have become. I am flawed, but there is nothing wrong with that.
And for those that are wondering, no I haven't taken up drugs. Those are awful for you. I'm just feeling, feelings.
And for those that are wondering, no I haven't taken up drugs. Those are awful for you. I'm just feeling, feelings.